


Hey, Are You Pro Clone-Fucking, Y/N?

by smokeandjollyranchers



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Dom!Caleb, F/M, Oral, Threesome - F/F/M, feat: a magical item created just for smut, it's a clone fucking joke, pinning, this are just getting raunchier and raunchier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 06:08:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18026171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smokeandjollyranchers/pseuds/smokeandjollyranchers
Summary: “You’re a little squishy.” She admits, watching the way his eyes darken as he stares at her. “You need my duplicate more than I do, honestly.”Caleb kisses her, fingers in her hair. His teeth sink into her bottom lip, and Jester gasps, her arms wrapping around him. His leg slides between hers, and she’s struck by the heat of him, casing her skin to break out in goosebumps. He breaks the kiss, pushing her bangs from his face. “Let me borrow her then.”





	Hey, Are You Pro Clone-Fucking, Y/N?

In retrospect, it’s probably Jester’s fault for even asking the question.

 She and her friends were all slumped over at a table in their inn, dazed looks on all their faces. She sighs, rubbing some of the blood on her dress. That’s probably going to stain.  “So clones suck a little, maybe.”

 Everyone hums in agreement, Beau resting her head on the table. “No one needs fifteen fucking clones. What was that guy even going to do with like, _fifteen_ of himself.”

 “An army is an army,” Caleb groans, resting his head in his hand. He’s going through the madman’s bag, throwing money in the center of the table for Beau to count, and interesting items in a pile in front of him. “Even if the army is made up of one skinny guy with a god complex.”

 “Unflattering mirror?”

 “Fuck you, Beauregard.”

 “Don’t get snippy with each other.” Fjord sighs, taking a drink from his ale. “Who knows what that guy was planning.”

 “Orgy.” Jester and Nott answer at the same time. Fjord pinches the bridge of his nose, a _long_ sigh following.

 “I don’t think…an _orgy_ was his master plan.”

 “Maybe not the _master_ one, but it was one the list.” Jester argues, resting her chin on the table. “Why have fifteen clones if you don’t have sex with them?”

 “Pretty sure that’s just like fucking your twin.” Yasha says, setting her drink down. “The world needs less twin fuckers.”

 “I agree with you on less twin fuckers.” Beau says, eyebrows furrowed. “But I think fucking your clone is just next level masturbation. Like your clone is gonna know _exactly_ what you like. And you wouldn’t even have to ask.”

 “Please don’t do this.” Fjord sighs. He’s ignored.

 Nott takes a pull off her flask, a thoughtful look on her face. “I don’t think I would fuck my clone, because what if my clone is evil.”

 “It’s your clone, it wouldn’t be evil unless you’re evil.”

 “What if that’s how I _found out_ I was evil?!” She gasps, setting her flask down. “Now I have to fight me.”

 “What about you, Widogast?” Beau asks, pointing at Caleb. “Clone fuck, _ja_ or _nein?_ ”

 Caleb looks _so unimpressed_ , and Jester looks over at him, waiting patiently. Fjord is drinking again, but the rest of the group is listening intently, all eyes on the wizard. “Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t think I could get it up for _me_ , can’t stand my own face.”

 “Gods that’s depressing.”

 Caleb shrugs, picking up his drink. “You asked.”

 Beau nods. “Yeah, I did. That’s on me, I’ll take that. What about you Cad? Little bit of self love?”

 “Do I have to do the hanky panky with my clone? I have a _bunch_ of other things I could use the second pair of hands for, I really would rather them help me with that.”

 “Practical! See! That’s what you use a clone for.” Fjord slaps his hand on the table, pointing at Caduceus. “You’re the only one with your head on straight.”

 “But practically, it’s just masturbation I mean, Beau is right.”

 Beau throws her arms in the air in victory, and Fjord’s face falls. “See! We’re all mostly just a bunch of narcissistic fucks who would _totally_ fuck our clones. Except for the depression squad. No offense.”

 “None taken.” Yasha and Caleb answer her, and Jester giggles, her mind running a thousand miles a minute.

 “Not to presume to speak for the dead, but Molly would’ve been the guy with the fifteen clone orgy.”

 Yasha smiles at her, a faraway look in her eyes. “He would be so happy you know that.”

 “I honor him in anyway I can.” Jester smiles back, lifting herself up from the table.

 “Can we please talk about something else?” Fjord asks, and Nott rolls her eyes.

 “We can talk about pirates and pegging. I think Caleb has that book too.”

Caleb fights a smile. “She’s dragging you, but I _do_ have that book.”

“Fuck y’all.”

* * *

Jester hears Nott scamper past her door, around midnight.

 She gets out of bed, throwing a blanket over her shoulder and tiptoeing towards the door. When she peeks into the hall, she doesn’t see anything stirring, even the dim candlelight stands still, as the rest of the patrons sleep. Jester grins, her tail flicking down by her ankles. Quietly, she makes her way over to Caleb’s door and she knocks just once, hearing Frumpkin moving on the other side.

 Caleb answers the door a few moments later, eyebrow raised. Jester waves at him, and he smiles a little, stepping aside so she can come in. “Can’t sleep?”

 “No not really.” She answers, making herself comfortable on his bed, wrapping her blanket around herself. “So I figured I would come and bother you, since you never sleep and your ribs are probably broken, huh?”

 He blinks, absentmindedly bringing his hand to his side. “I…”

 “Let me guess, _you’re fine_ ?” She scoffs, coaxing him over. “ _Please_ , just come here.”

 Caleb looks like he might argue, but finally decides against it. He sits down next to her and she pokes his nose, sending some healing through his as she does. She hears the way his breathing changes, and his shoulders relax a little more. “Thank you.”

 “I don’t normally make house calls.” She smiles, flicking his nose softly. “Speak up next time.”

 “We’ll see.” He smiles back, leaning back against the wall. “You didn’t get knocked around too bad, did you?”

 “No, I’m okay. Hey do you think, like, you share memories with your clone? Like when we killed that guy fifteen different times or whatever did he _die_ fifteen different times?”

 “Ah… _scheisse_ , I have no idea. Do you remember what happens to your clone?”

 “She’s a _duplicate,_ ” Jester corrects him. “She’s _so much_ better than a clone. She’s smart and strong and quiet and she can _cast spells_ , so, you know, she’s better.”

 “Ah, that reminds me!” He gets up, heading to his desk. He grabs something, tossing it to her. She catches it in her hand, a small gem necklace, inlaid with gold and silver, on a delicate little chain. “You might really like this.”

 “Cuz it’s pretty? Cuz you’re right, I do.”

 “It’s very pretty.” He agrees, sitting back down next to her. “But it’s tricky too.”

 “ _Ooooh_ , what’s it do?!”

 “It makes duplicates, like you do. Except you can do quite of few of them. But the more you have out, the less time they’ll last.”

 “ _This is amazing._ ” Jester gasps, throwing it on. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am _already_ super amazing and my Duplicate is the _best.”_

 “Of course.” He holds up his hands defensively. “I should’ve known. You never said where you stood on the clone debacle.”

 “If I would fuck my clone?” She raises an eyebrow. “I mean, sure, I suppose I would. But it doesn’t seem like it would be _crazy_ fun. But I wouldn’t say _no_ to me, I’m adorable.”

 “You are.” He scoffs. “Hard to turn you down for anything.”

 “It’s true.” She grins at him, stretching her legs out so her feet are in his lap. “That’s why I came to bother you in the middle of the night. Because you have the _hardest_ time saying no to meeee.”

 His hands rest on her ankles, his thumb trailing over a long healed scar on her calf. “ _Ja_ , you make that a little tricky. Not _impossible,_ but...it’s tricky.”

 “Everything about me is tricky.” Jester hums, taking note of how his hand slides up her leg slowly. “Like saying I’m here to heal you, when I’m also here for some other stuff too.”

 “Ah, so you’ve snuck into my room, under false pretenses, just to get me into bed then?”

 “And it worked like a charm.” She grins. “And not _all_ my pretenses were false. I was standing right next to you when you took that hit. I heard your ribs crack.”

 Caleb moves so he’s on top of her, his lips on her neck. Jester sighs, running fingers up newly healed ribs. He sits up, tracing his thumb along her bottom lip. “I’m not super tough.”

 “You’re a _little_ squishy.” She admits, watching the way his eyes darken as he stares at her. “You need my duplicate more than _I_ do, honestly.”

 Caleb kisses her, fingers in her hair. His teeth sink into her bottom lip, and Jester gasps, her arms wrapping around him. His leg slides between hers, and she’s struck by the _heat_ of him, casing her skin to break out in goosebumps. He breaks the kiss, pushing her bangs from his face. “Let me borrow her then.”

 Jester licks her lip, tail softly wrapped around Caleb’s thigh. “ _Now?_ ”

 “Now.” He tells her, voice low and commanding. “If you wouldn’t mind.”

 She’s not going to say no, she _needs_ to know what he’s planning, that darkness in his eyes reflecting the candlelight. So she leans up to kiss him again, her duplicate appearing next to him. The Duplicate waits patiently for Jester to break for air, and they smile at each other. “Hey, Caleb is going to borrow you, okay?”

 The Duplicate nods, happily, and gives Caleb a salute, waiting for instructions. Caleb grins, _wickedly_ , and Jester swallows hard. “Thank you, _liebling_. Can you hold her arms for me?”

 Jester sits up, her Duplicate settling in behind her. When she lays back down, her head rests in her Duplicate’s lap. She puts her hands over her head, and her Duplicate holds her arms over her head. Caleb’s grin only grows more wicked, and he kisses her again, then her neck, then his tongue across her collarbone.

 “I was never going to be able to pin you down myself, nowhere _near_ strong enough, this is _perfect_ .” He whispers, his hand pulling her nightshirt up her body. Jester tests the grip her Duplicate has on her hands, and she’s met with her own strength holding her down. _Okay so, she’s tougher than she thought she was._

 Her Duplicate winks at her, distracting her for a couple seconds before Caleb has her nightshirt pushed up to her shoulders, and she feels his hands sliding up her ribs, and she whimpers, the heat making her tail curl. “You’re always so _warm_.”

 Caleb kisses her again, and Jester moans, trying to reach for him but held back by her Duplicate. “ _Argh,_ being weak is _awful._ ”

 “ _Ja,_ tell me about it.” He scoffs, lips against her neck, then her chest. On hand cups her breast, his thumb across her nipple. Jester bites her lip, wrapping a leg around Caleb’s hip. He smiles, just for a second, before his tongue runs across her other nipple. Jester whimpers, her back arching a little.

 Caleb switches sides, leaving small bites between the valley of her breasts and Jester groans breathlessly. “You’re _never_ this slow.”

 “I’ve never been able to pin you.” He exhales, his breath against her skin causing her tail to wrap around his leg. “Let me have my fun, _liebling_.”

 “She only lasts a minute.”

 “Then stop wasting it.” He bites her skin softly, his fingers trailing down her stomach, circling her clit. Jester whimpers, thighs twitching. Her Duplicate tightens her grip, and Jester realizes she’s fighting against her.

 “ _Please,_ touch me.”

 Caleb doesn’t answer, too busy marking her chest to listen. Jester rolls her shoulders, tries anything she can think of to make him go faster, but without her distracting hands on his body, Caleb isn’t moved by her whimpers.

 Her Duplicate grins, unable to laugh like she truly wants to. Jester glares at her, a little annoyed. “You wouldn’t be this smug if he were torturing _you._ ”

 Her Duplicate only shrugs, tail swishing in amusement. Caleb sits up, getting off the bed to reposition himself. If Jester is right, her Duplicate will poof away soon, and she’ll be able to _maul_ the shit out of him. Caleb sits on the side of the bed, pulling his shirt off. He looks over at her, sprawled out and _wanting_ , and he smiles.

 It’s absolutely _predatory._

 So, she lasts much longer than a minute. That’s…dangerous, for you to have.”

 “And yet,” Jester pouts, narrowing her eyes. “I’m the one suffering here.”

 Caleb scoffs at that, lifting an eyebrow. “Suffering huh?”

 “Yes! Clearly! You have me all pinned down and you won’t even touch me now.” She rolls her eyes, fighting a smirk. “It’s very _rude_.”

 “I certainly don’t mean to be rude, Blueberry. Can you do something for me first?”

 “Oh sure. Whatever _you_ need.” She pouts, but it fades into a smile. “What can I do?”

 “Can you make another one?”

 “Of course!” Jester answers, and there’s suddenly another Duplicate standing next to him, waving. “Hey, apparently we’re listening to Caleb today, so whatever he says, okay?”

 The Duplicate gives a thumbs up, and looks to Caleb, who has that predatory grin on his face again. “Can you do me a favor and take care of her? I was doing something before she got here and I’m _almost_ finished. Shouldn’t take more than ten minutes.”

 Jester wants to complain, but suddenly the other her is skipping over to the bed, her hands running up Jester’s legs. “Hold on! They need names.”

 Caleb smiles at that, shaking his head. “ _Ja_ , of course.”

 Jester looks up at her Duplicate whose hands are still pinning her down. “You’re going to be Fancy Pants, and you-“ she says to the other one at the foot of the bed. “You’re going to be Donut.”

 Both her Duplicates smile at her, and she catches the fond smile on Caleb’s face before he sits back down, taking out his spellbook. “Have fun, Blueberry. Oh, Donut? She doesn’t get to come.”

 “Wh-“ Jester doesn’t even finish her thought before the hands traveling up her legs _finally_ touch her cunt, and she shivers. Donut smiles at her before ducking her head between her thighs, cold tongue running across her clit. Jester hisses, eyes screwed shut. “ _Oooh_ , my tongue is cold.”

 Caleb doesn’t answer, but she does see him nod, before his focus is returned to his book, and the funny looking statue they found earlier. Donut’s hands rest on her side, and she works her tongue against her _slowly,_ stupidly slow, and Jester whimpers, pulling against Fancy Pants’ hands. “ _Fuck,_ once she finally lets me go? I’m coming for you, Widogast.”

Donut responds for him, two of her fingers sliding inside Jester, and curling, so so _slowl_ y. Jester groans, throwing her leg over Donut’s shoulder. Happily, Donut pushes her fingers in deeper, and Jester whimpers. Fancy Pants tightens her grip again, and Jesfer is sure she’s going to have bruises on her arms tomorrow. “I’m not going to lie, Donut, you’re _really good_ at this.”

 Her duplicate smirks. She obviously knows this, since she wraps her lips around Jesters clit and sucks softly. Her back _arches,_ and Donut grips her hips tighter. “ _Fuck the Traveler! Yes!_ ”

 Donut stops suddenly, shaking her head. Jester _growls_ , looking down at her cruel little duplicate. She’s smiling at Jester, resting her head on her thigh as she catches her breath.

 “No offense, but _fuck you_ .” She grumbles, wiggling her hips. “How much _longer_ before you can be _bothered_ to fuck me?!”

 Of course, Caleb doesn’t answer, but Donut holds up her hand, wiggling her fingers. _Five minutes still?!_

 No, Jester isn’t going to last five more minutes of this, she needs to get back on the offensive. She exhales, looking down at Donut. “You should kiss me, since _no one_ else is.”

 Donut looks over at Caleb who keeps casting, but Jester is _almost_ positive she saw his mouth twitch into a smile. Her duplicate shrugs, crawling up to kiss her. Jester can taste herself on Donut’s tongue, and it’s _dizzying_. Fancy Pants never releases her grip, and looks smug each time Jester tries to break free.

 Her Duplicate runs her tongue up Jester’s neck, her leg sliding between Jesters. She _moans_ , grinding against Donut slowly. Even though she’s silent, Jester sees her duplicate bite her lip, like she’s trying to suppress a moan. Donut kisses her again, and Jester moans, moving her hips a little faster. It feels _really_ good and Jester fights it, knowing if she falls for it, she’s just going to be left wanting again. _But at the same time_ she finds herself whimpering, more and more desperate for release.

 “ _Fuck it._ ” She whimpers, grinding against Donut _hard._  Her breath catches in her chest, and she closes her eyes, _just a little-_

 Donut disappears in a blink, and Jester is left alone on the bed, dazed. She looks towards Caleb, who is resting his elbows on the bed, amused look on his face. Jester glares at him, pointing her finger in his face. “You did that on purpose.”

 “ _Ja._ ”

 “You _timed_ that.”

 “I did.”

 “...Was that even a magical item?”

 “Oh, _nein_ , it’s just a rock statue, I knew that.”

 “ _You fucking suck._ ” Jester growls, and Caleb chuckles, crawling up on the bed again. She reaches for him and he falls into her touch. Caleb is so _warm_ , and the heat covers her body like a blanket.  Her arms wrap around his neck, and she presses her lips to his, kissing him fiercely. “You’d better make this up to me, like _now_.”

 “I’m so sorry Blueberry, I didn’t mean to be rude. I’m of course, at your service.”

 Jester kisses him again, softly. Caleb melts, just like she’s expecting him to, and he kisses her back. Her leg wraps around his hip and she pulls him against her. His tongue runs against her bottom lip, and she moans. “You need to fuck me _now_ , please _._ ”

 “Of course, _liebling,_ of course.” He whispers, pressing his lips against hers. Jester melts under him, his fingers tracing her side.  Caleb moves so his cock is lined up with her, and she bites on his lip. Caleb _moans_ , his shoulders shaking. “You sure, Jess?”

 She presses her forehead to his. “If you don’t, I might kick your ass.”

 He laughs, kissing her again as he slides inside her. Jester _moaaaaaaaans_ , arching her back against him. Caleb’s face is buried in her neck, each time he pants, she shivers. “ _Fucking finally._ ”

 Caleb wraps her legs around his waist, fingers wrapping in her hair. “Oh fuck, Jess, you’re so _wet._ ”

 She can't even answer him, too enthralled in the way he moves against her. “ _More, please.”_

 He nods, kissing her once before his hand grip her hips, and he _fucks_ her. Jester squeals, her back coming off the bed as tension builds. “C-Caleb I swear to the _gods_ if you deny me one m-more time-“

 “Not this time.” He promises, gripping her hips tighter. “You can come, Jester. I _want_ you to come.”

 Jester whimpers, arms wrapping around him again, her face in his neck. Her body trembles as she finally comes, her moans muffled by his skin. He slumps on top of her, swallowing his groan as he catches himself above her. Jester flips them so she can lay on chest chest, the heat making her drowsy. “You….you got me pretty good…”

 “Every now and then, I do.” He scoffs, pressing his lips against her temple. “Are you alright?”

 “Oh yeah.” She giggles, her tail curling around the arm wrapped around her. “That was _fun_. Are you okay?”

 “Amazing, Blueberry. You are simply. Amazing.” 

* * *

Jester sits breakfast the next morning, three bites of bacon left on her plate.

 “Hey, so I thought about it, and I’m _pretty_ pro clone fucking.” She says into the silence of their breakfast.

 Caleb chokes on his coffee.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to Aqua for creating:  
> Amulet of Dulicity (Test 1.0)  
> Attunment Required  
> 5 Charges; recharges 1D4 + 1 charge every 24 hours  
> As an action you can create up to 4 Dulicates of yourself. Each Duplicate takes a single charge and cuts down on the time the Duplicates can stay up. These Duplicates are solid and may interact with their surroundings. They each have 1 hp and must stay within 60ft of you. Unless given a command each Duplicate act on their own accord, based on the wearer's personality. They cannot use or be used to cast spells  
> 1 Duplicate- 25 min  
> 2 Duplicate- 20 min  
> 3 Duplicate- 15 min  
> 4 Duplicate- 10 min
> 
> so if you need it for your own smut! or game!
> 
> thanks for reading!
> 
> youcanreplytothissmut


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